The Bengali Bride

This blogpost is part of the new series called ‘The Indian Bride’. This series will focus on brides from different parts of India and their traditions and customs, and what makes their weddings unique! Main focus of this being on the bride and her story. 

The bride we will cover this week will be the Bengali bride. For those that don’t know, Bengalis are what the people of the state of West Bengal are called. West Bengal is a state situated on the Eastern coast of India and borders Bangladesh. It overlooks the Bay of Bengal. Bengali is the language spoken by the Bengali people. Bengali culture is heavily bent on the creative arts, leading to a lot of famous Bengali playwrights, musicians and novelists. Bengali weddings are therefore as unique as Bengali culture is. The wedding and bride we will be focusing is a traditional Bengali Hindu wedding and bride. Bengali Muslim weddings are, of course, quite different to Bengali Hindu weddings, which just goes to show the cultural diversity that exists in India!

Bengali weddings, like most other Indian weddings, are a three day affair. Preparations for the wedding, like any other wedding, start much beforehand. The bride will buy several things as part of her trousseau (including sarees, salwar kameezes, makeup, sindoor and a lot of other things) as well as gifts for the groom and his family (like kurta-pyjamas, shoes and a lot of other things) and decorate them in colourful baskets. The sarees are usually decorated in a unique way, shaped into a type of animal or anything else that looks really decorative!

The bride’s trousseau sarees

The actual ‘wedding’ ceremony is performed on the first day of the wedding extravaganza. The time of the wedding depends on the ‘auspicious’ time decided by the priest conducting the ceremony (completely dependent on Vedic astrology!), but generally, it happens in the night. The morning of the wedding consists of a very important ceremony called a ‘gaye holud’ ceremony. This is when the bride has a special paste of turmeric and mustard oil applied to her face and body, which is then rinsed off. The idea behind this is to make the bride’s face glow, which turmeric has been known to do. The paste is applied and then rinsed off. For this ceremony, the bride generally wears a simple cotton sari (generally red). 

The ‘gaye holud’ ceremony

At the wedding, the groom arrives before the bride and waits for her to arrive. The bride is traditionally carried on a platform by her brothers (or cousin brothers) to the wedding mandap. She will cover her face with two paan leaves while entering to hide her face. The bride’s brothers will circle her around the groom seven times (to symbolise their coming together for seven lifetimes!) with the bride’s face covered all the while. At the final circle, the bride will uncover her face. This is meant to symbolise the ‘first sighting’ between the bride and groom, a tradition from the days when marriages were arranged between two people who wouldn’t have seen each other before getting married! After this, the bride and groom exchange garlands and then have their formal wedding in front of the priest, who chants religious hymns. The conclusion of the wedding is when the groom fills the bride’s parting with sindoor.  For the wedding, the Bengali bride will wear a traditional red Benarasi saree, usually with gold threadwork. The bride will have designs drawn on her forehead with sandalwood paste, and wear lots of gold jewellery!

The traditional Bengali bride – doesn’t she look beautiful?

The bride being carried by her brothers with her face covered by paan leaves

The bride about to unveil her face to the groom

The bride and groom exchanging garlands

The wedding puja

The bride with sindoor in her hair

The second day of the wedding is when the bride makes her way to her new in-laws’ house with her new husband. The highlight of this day is the ashirwad ceremony – when the family and relatives of the bride give the bride and groom gifts (usually gold jewellery for the bride, watches or money for the groom). As this signifies the bride’s departure from her family home, this is usually an emotional and tearful ceremony. For this ceremony, the bride will wear her wedding saree from the night before. After bidding tearful goodbyes, the bride will leave for her in-laws’ with her new husband.

At her new in-laws, the new bride will undergo some fun initiation rites – one of these involve boiling milk on a stove and letting it boil over! The bride then changes into a cotton saree but is not allowed to live with her husband yet. 

The third day consists of what is called the ‘boubhaat’ ceremony, where the bride eats her first traditional meal with her new family. Traditional Bengali food is made specially for the new bride. For this ceremony, the bride will wear a new saree given to her by her in-laws. This is followed by the wedding reception, where the bride will wear another traditional Benarasi saree, and can be of any colour. The bride’s family and other relatives, as well as family from the groom’s side will all come to the reception.

The bride and groom at the wedding reception – doesn’t she look beautiful once again?

After the reception, the bride is allowed to live with her husband and this is when they begin their new life together.

We hope you liked this first post on our ‘The Indian Bride’ series and got a little bit of insight into this beautiful culture.

Picture perfect

This week’s wedding feature is just so special. When the bride sent me her images I was blown away as the images looked like they were taken out of a magazine. I had to constantly remind myself that this wedding had taken place in real life. There were a number of other things that made this wedding a really memorable one for our bride and groom, Rebeccalee and Romanus. 

This love saga began when Rebeccalee needed a date for her year 12 formal in 2007; she was looking for someone good looking, smart and funny. There was a guy named Romanus who used to hang out with her brother a lot and she thought he was exactly what she was looking for in her date. She was very shy to ask him and it took her two weeks to mask the courage to ask him. A month later they got to know each other more and then Romanus asked Rebeccalee out on her birthday. The relationship matured over the years and it was time for celebrations.

The wedding and reception of this handsome couple was held in the mystical city; Sydney. Rebeccalee's outfit was designed by her. Her designer in Chennai, India converted her vision to reality. The work on her dress was done by hand and the detail is mindblowlingly beautiful. The final alterations on this dress were done by Rebeccalee's family designer Bernadette Pimenta Couture, Melbourne. Rebeccalee looked like a princess in this ravishing dress.

Hair and Makeup by Susana from Glam Vam

Gorgeous bridesmaid dresses, cute flower girls, and a lot of creativity were a few other highlights of this wedding.

The best moment for Beckylee on her wedding day was when she walked down the aisle and her eyes locked with the groom's eyes. She saw no one else but him after that. **Aww Moment**

The couple and the photographer also crafted a stunning photoshoot around Sydney. 

The wedding reception was held on a big boat that cruised along Darling harbour, Sydney.  

There were some really heartfelt moments that occurred on the wedding reception. One such moment was the father daughter dance. It was beautifully organised and it certainly captured all the emotions felt by Rebacalee and her family on the day. The song and the dance was about daddy's girl growing up and her father being the centre of her life. The dance portrayed the dad making sure that he teaches his daughter the way of life and how to dance through it all. Rebeccalee's niece Mischa played the younger version of herself, her cousin Sarah was her teenage self & then Rebeccalee herself finally ended it by marrying the love of her life and leaving her father's house. You can imagine magnitude of emotions flowing through the boat at that time.

Father and daughter dance to Cinderella by Steven Curtis Chapman

​Fortunately it was also Chinese new years on the same day and everyone on the boat got to watch the spectacular fire works on the harbour.

Rebeccalee says that the most important thing to plan a wedding is time; the more time you have, the more you get done. Time is also a crucial element when you are looking for perfection. For the bride things usually start off being a breeze but towards the end things start getting difficult and this is only expected. 

She advices bride not to rush it and make the smallest things count. Detail is very important. She also suggests that its important to let the wedding day take its course, as there will be very little in your control; Just let things happen even if they don't go according to plan. This will ensure you enjoy your big day to the fullest. Another major tip is not to forget about your little guests.

We wish this awesome couple a happily ever after.

Fashionably romantic wedding.

Picture a bride who is super chic and has never seen the face of flat shoes, the groom who planned a romantic proposal on the beautiful beach of Bali, a rocking dance performance at the Sangeet ceremony, beautiful traditional Nikah and a reception where the bride wore a smashing lehenga. This Mumbai wedding had all the elements to make it an event to remember for the couple and guests who attended. Lets now look at how this was planned. 

Our bride Rashida went to a lot of wedding exhibitions in her hometown Mumbai before the wedding.  This is where she got her inspiration. It was not easy to plan the wedding as she was working at the same time but nonetheless she managed a super wedding. Not only did she plan the wedding but also had to help  her groom's family plan the wedding as they were all the way in New Zealand. She researched online for various styles when it came to her outfit and the end result was simply magnificent.

Couple's first event was the Sangeet held at Krishna banquet hall in Mumbai.  Rashida can be seen sporting a beautiful red and black lehenga at this event. The couple performed a romantic dance at this event. The song chosen for this dance, o soniyo was really close to the couple's hearts, even more so as the groom Mufaddal sung this song often to the bride **Aww moment**.  This was the best moment for Rashida as the couple got an overwhelming response and the audience couldn't get enough of this performance. Maybe they should think about joining a dance competition.

Nikah, this was tradtional event held at a Hatemi mosque in Mumbai. Rashida is wearing a printed lehenga which is very trendy and traditional at the same time. Both her Sangeet and Nikah outfits were designed by her designer Asgar Munshi and she was extremely pleased with what the designer had delivered.

Makeup by Shirin Merchant

Grand finale, the reception was was held at Jacob open grounds at J.J college in Mumbai. The colours of Rashida's lehenga are nothing less than exquisite. She bought this outfit from Jade by Monica and Karishma. All the colours of this outfit complement each other nicely and give an additional glow to the blushing bride.

Rashida's advice to future brides is to not get caught up with what your family says and to follow your heart. It is also important to take it easy, not sweat on the small stuff and smile like you mean it. Enjoy your big day as it will only come once.

Rashida now lives in Auckland and is happy to call this place home. We wish her and Mufaddal a happy married life.

Honorable mention

Photography by Diljeet Tejnani

A perfect fusion

You’d be excused for confusing the latest Bollywood hit ‘2 States’ with this week’s feature– albeit low on drama, but high on love and complete with two good looking leads , Pooja and Ajay, who planned and pulled off a North and South Indian wedding in Auckland. 

The Plot

The couple met at an Indian social event and the mutual feelings culminated over time into a proposal and of course, a big fat Indian wedding. Like any traditional Hindu wedding, the festivities consisted of a Sangeet/Henna night, Wedding ceremony and a Reception. 

With 6 months to plan the big event, the bride, Pooja, who describes her style as  “conservative but sophisticated” sourced her various outfits from designers both in India and Indian Fashion outlets in New Zealand. She wanted to keep things “simple but unique”, and the photos below are testament to the fact that this bride has bags of style!

For the Sangeet, Pooja wore a lehenga inspired by Bollywood fashion queen, Priyanka Chopra. 

Supplier: Alvaslon sarees

Without any first hand experience, I can only depend on reported accounts of the ‘bridal walk up the aisle.’ They say that it has a surreal feel to it. Everything fades into the background - all the months of scouting, budgeting and planning for what is most likely going to be the most significant event of your life. Everything fazes out, of-course, other than the love of your life waiting at the end of aisle!

Wearing an intricate Tarun Tahilini lehenga that she would later change into a Kanjeevaran saree, it was no different for Pooja. Her best moment of the day in her  own words “would be when I walked down  and my Husband was smiling at me waiting for me to join him on the mandap.” (can we get an universal ‘N’awwww’). 

  

Initially, Pooja was stressed about having to “change into my Kanjeevaran saree half way through the ceremony with only half an hour to look like a South Indian bride.” Anyone brought up on a steady diet of Bollywood movies is accustomed to ‘costume changes’ but in real life, it can be a bit tad bit difficult especially when it’s in the middle of a wedding ceremony! However thanks to her stylist, everything came together in the end and this bride was the perfect picture of fusion with her chura and beautiful Kanjeevaran sari. 

The Finale

For the Reception, Pooja looked resplendent in a blue net saree embellished with sequins. 

Supplier: Aroma fashions

Technical Awards – The Backstage Magicans

Hair & Make Up 

For her big day, Pooja was styled by Nimisha Bikha, hair and makeup artist

Venue & Photographer

The wedding was held at Bhakti Center in Panmure and the venue was decorated by 0800 Mandaps. The Kodak moments of the day were captured by photographer, RitzyStudio-Photography 

The Review 

So there you have it folks! In the scheme of things, you could like your lassi and he his sambar, you your pancakes and he his biryani but I’m guessing that it all just becomes a minor detail once you know that this person complete with their different cultural background, weird eccentricities or habits makes you happy perhaps because and not in spite of how different they are from you. 

Fusion is described as “the process or result of joining two or more things together to form a single entity.” So it while it not is the easiest thing to ever do, fusion weddings are all the richer for all the distinctive rituals ‘fused’ together to form a perfect union.  

And with New Zealand becoming more multicultural by the day, it’s becoming easier than ever to plan and pull of such culturally rich and colorful weddings. 

Our congratulations and best wishes to Pooja and Ajay and a Happy Sunday to all our readers! 

*Cue the music*

- Written by Neha Prasad

My Big fat Indian wedding

The idea of writing this blog started when I was buying my Mehendi lehenga in Bandra, Mumbai. Weddings are always fun and to capture the little details of the wedding first hand is fun to read as well. My wedding was big in terms of the length, I had every function that a bride could possibly have. But lets first rewind to how it all started.

I met my husband Smit for the first time when I was 17 years old. He was studying Engineering in Auckland while i was a school student in my last year of school, also in Auckland. We met through a mutual friend and our first conversation involved talking about Vada Pav near Mithibai college in Mumbai as well as Bollywood. Our first conversation was also the last one for a while. Although we were both at the same university we hardly spoke for the next four years (I would like blame Smit for this). However, there was a twist like in every story; we ended up being dance partners during the annual engineering revue. I have to admit i did find him cute and added him on Facebook. We then talked endlessly online, until one day where we decided to meet and then started the dating period. After a few years of dating, On May 4th 2013 he popped the question and then started a series of events which are described below. 

My parents and me really love parties and therefore each event had to be planned to perfection. This wedding was a fusion of two cultures. There were a few discussions around what customs and traditions will be followed during the various ceremonies. Towards the end we decided to incorporate both traditions into the ceremonies to respect both cultures in this amalgamation.

First event held in Auckland was the Engagement party. The venue we chose was Sudhima hotel. This venue met all our requirements such as food requirements, space and the look and feel.  In terms of finding an outfit I had a difficult time. I did not want to shop online and neither did not want to travel to India just to buy an outfit. After extensive research on Pinterest I finalised a few outfits that I liked. These images were sent to a fashion designer in India and at the end the outcome was an customised outfit inspired by Shyamal and Bhumika which was sent over to NZ.

Makeup by Asrita Singh and Hair by Shermin 

Our families and friends left no stone unturned to make this a very special day. Beautiful dance performances, heart warming speeches and friends and family travelling from India and Australia made this a very special day for us.  

After this event we decided to have the wedding and the festivities around it in our home town Mumbai. It only made sense to do that as we both were originally from Mumbai and loved the city to bits. Celebrating our wedding ceremonies in Mumbai meant a lot to both of us. 

Two months prior to the wedding, I made a trip to India to finalise various things such as the outfits, additional trousseau, makeup artist, decorator and photographer.  This was one of the best decisions I made as my wedding was in Feb which is peak wedding season in India. All the venues and vendors are booked during this time so it was sensible to not leave things for last minute. Moreover, it took about a month to get my reception lehenga made, which again justifies my trip.  I left jewellery and accessories shopping for the week before the wedding. We met 2 vendors each in person for makeup, decoration and photography as per recommendations from locals. Meeting them in person helped us with decision making when picking the final ones.


Our first event was Mehndi/Cocktail night at JW Marriott. I wanted my outfit to be traditional and colourful at the same time. I was after mehndi green lehenga but ended up wearing a beautiful combination of yellow, green and pink Sabyasachi inspired lehenga. This is my most favourite outfit from all the outfits I own. Because I was soo in awe of my lehenga that I did forget that I was supposed to perform a contemporary dance where Smit had to lift me.  I had doubts about performing the lift as well as the dance in this heavy lehenga. Fortunately, Smit did not complain while lifting me and we managed to dance without any mishaps.

Lehenga had antique gold embroidery as well as kashmiri thread work.

The next day was Sangeet ceremony hosted by Smit's family, which was a traditional Gujrati Sangeet Sandya. It was a great event despite the hangover from the previous day. Again, I wore a Sabyasachi inspired lehenga. The maharani blouse was definitely a hit and made me feel like a princess in every sense. We hired lovely choreographers who helped us choreograph a lovely dance on the latest bollywood numbers.

Next was the BIG day; the wedding ceremony. I couldn't have asked for a better location to get married. ITC Maratha Sheraton has a cute ball room which makes a perfect venue for an intimate wedding (for Indian standards for sure).  The mandap was very beautifully decorated and I had a great time during the traditional part of this ceremony. The Pandit explained all the vows to us as they were in Sanskrit and also gave us some tips for a happy married life. The best part of the day was when we were taking the pheras and close family and friends standing around the mandap were showering us with flowers with huge smiles on their face.  That moment was beautiful and I couldn't help but smile as I took vows with the person who is very special to me. 

My dress was not inspired by any designer for this event and was a Panetar (traditional Gujrati red and white saree).

We also had a few OMG moments on that day. The venue hotel rooms were over booked because of the Hema Malini's daughter's wedding that happened there the night before. As a result, the groom had to be shifted to a room in the opposite hotel to get ready after a few arguments with the hotel staff. I did not let this bother me as I was having a fabulous time with my mom, aunty and my beautiful brides maids while getting ready.

Beautiful Bridesmaids who made getting ready so much fun

Makeup and hair by Tasneem Contractor

The final event was the reception which was held at Matoshree Sports club in Mumbai. At this event, I wore my most grand outfit because all I had to do was look pretty on stage and smile. I bought all my other outfits in one day but this outfit took me about 5 days to finalise. The lehenga was inspired by Anamika Khanna's design and was heavy enough that I required assistance during walking (also feel sorry for the person who had to carry it back to NZ)

Jodha Akbar entry during reception

Main advice for brides is not to get too carried away with research. With extensive research it is possible to have a great wedding but it is also important to listen to your heart and ensure that the wedding matches your style and not someone else's.

I had a great time planning every moment of this wedding. Shopping for outfits was pure bliss and I miss that so much. My dad travelled to India three times in total to make sure that this wedding was perfect in every sense. Having a wedding in India was also amazing as I celebrated with family & friends that I had not met for many years. Those days will always be close to my heart.