The Bengali Bride

This blogpost is part of the new series called ‘The Indian Bride’. This series will focus on brides from different parts of India and their traditions and customs, and what makes their weddings unique! Main focus of this being on the bride and her story. 

The bride we will cover this week will be the Bengali bride. For those that don’t know, Bengalis are what the people of the state of West Bengal are called. West Bengal is a state situated on the Eastern coast of India and borders Bangladesh. It overlooks the Bay of Bengal. Bengali is the language spoken by the Bengali people. Bengali culture is heavily bent on the creative arts, leading to a lot of famous Bengali playwrights, musicians and novelists. Bengali weddings are therefore as unique as Bengali culture is. The wedding and bride we will be focusing is a traditional Bengali Hindu wedding and bride. Bengali Muslim weddings are, of course, quite different to Bengali Hindu weddings, which just goes to show the cultural diversity that exists in India!

Bengali weddings, like most other Indian weddings, are a three day affair. Preparations for the wedding, like any other wedding, start much beforehand. The bride will buy several things as part of her trousseau (including sarees, salwar kameezes, makeup, sindoor and a lot of other things) as well as gifts for the groom and his family (like kurta-pyjamas, shoes and a lot of other things) and decorate them in colourful baskets. The sarees are usually decorated in a unique way, shaped into a type of animal or anything else that looks really decorative!

The bride’s trousseau sarees

The actual ‘wedding’ ceremony is performed on the first day of the wedding extravaganza. The time of the wedding depends on the ‘auspicious’ time decided by the priest conducting the ceremony (completely dependent on Vedic astrology!), but generally, it happens in the night. The morning of the wedding consists of a very important ceremony called a ‘gaye holud’ ceremony. This is when the bride has a special paste of turmeric and mustard oil applied to her face and body, which is then rinsed off. The idea behind this is to make the bride’s face glow, which turmeric has been known to do. The paste is applied and then rinsed off. For this ceremony, the bride generally wears a simple cotton sari (generally red). 

The ‘gaye holud’ ceremony

At the wedding, the groom arrives before the bride and waits for her to arrive. The bride is traditionally carried on a platform by her brothers (or cousin brothers) to the wedding mandap. She will cover her face with two paan leaves while entering to hide her face. The bride’s brothers will circle her around the groom seven times (to symbolise their coming together for seven lifetimes!) with the bride’s face covered all the while. At the final circle, the bride will uncover her face. This is meant to symbolise the ‘first sighting’ between the bride and groom, a tradition from the days when marriages were arranged between two people who wouldn’t have seen each other before getting married! After this, the bride and groom exchange garlands and then have their formal wedding in front of the priest, who chants religious hymns. The conclusion of the wedding is when the groom fills the bride’s parting with sindoor.  For the wedding, the Bengali bride will wear a traditional red Benarasi saree, usually with gold threadwork. The bride will have designs drawn on her forehead with sandalwood paste, and wear lots of gold jewellery!

The traditional Bengali bride – doesn’t she look beautiful?

The bride being carried by her brothers with her face covered by paan leaves

The bride about to unveil her face to the groom

The bride and groom exchanging garlands

The wedding puja

The bride with sindoor in her hair

The second day of the wedding is when the bride makes her way to her new in-laws’ house with her new husband. The highlight of this day is the ashirwad ceremony – when the family and relatives of the bride give the bride and groom gifts (usually gold jewellery for the bride, watches or money for the groom). As this signifies the bride’s departure from her family home, this is usually an emotional and tearful ceremony. For this ceremony, the bride will wear her wedding saree from the night before. After bidding tearful goodbyes, the bride will leave for her in-laws’ with her new husband.

At her new in-laws, the new bride will undergo some fun initiation rites – one of these involve boiling milk on a stove and letting it boil over! The bride then changes into a cotton saree but is not allowed to live with her husband yet. 

The third day consists of what is called the ‘boubhaat’ ceremony, where the bride eats her first traditional meal with her new family. Traditional Bengali food is made specially for the new bride. For this ceremony, the bride will wear a new saree given to her by her in-laws. This is followed by the wedding reception, where the bride will wear another traditional Benarasi saree, and can be of any colour. The bride’s family and other relatives, as well as family from the groom’s side will all come to the reception.

The bride and groom at the wedding reception – doesn’t she look beautiful once again?

After the reception, the bride is allowed to live with her husband and this is when they begin their new life together.

We hope you liked this first post on our ‘The Indian Bride’ series and got a little bit of insight into this beautiful culture.